Head Teacher's Comedy Page!

Yes, this little selection have come from Mr McTegart himself...

How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
-You get footprints in the butter

How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
-You can hear them talking

How do you know when there are three elephants in your fridge?
-You can't shut the door

How many elephants can you fit in a BMW?
-Four - two in the front and two in the back

How do you know when you have four elephants in your fridge?
-Easy - there's a BMW parked in your driveway

How do you know when there's an elephant under your bed?
-Your nose is touching the ceiling

How do you know if there's an elephant in your bed?
-You can tell from the 'E' embroidered on his pyjamas

Why don't elephants like penguins?
-They can't get the wrappers off

What's an elephant's favourite sport?
-Squash

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
-So they can climb into cherry trees and hide

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
-No? - Shows how good the disguise is.

What's the difference between an elephant and an aspirin?
Don't know? - I'm not coming to you if I get a headache then.

Why was the elephant crying?
-Because he was fed up with all the awful jokes about him

Ah - that's quite enough, poor old elephant...